It’s the same question with every client I see – “What do I do with all of this stuff?”.
The first time I help someone go through their house to declutter and simplify, they are usually able to get rid of a lot of excesses. With a little bit of work over time, they can bring some peace to the chaos that was their home. They are on a roll but then it happens.
They get stuck. They find they have a handful of items they don’t know what to do with. These items aren’t broken, or out of date. They aren’t ugly or too small. In fact, these items are perfectly good but they have one flaw – they come with guilt.
The guilt comes from wanting to get rid of something that no longer needs to live with you. Maybe it was a gift. Maybe it was a family heirloom. Maybe you paid a lot of money for it. Maybe your kid made it for you. Maybe you might need it someday. Maybe you gained a few pounds and the tight clothing is a reminder of that.
Ugh, the drama!
Indecision and delayed decisions are some of the biggest roadblocks to having a simplified home and can be a symptom of guilt. Whenever I see a pile of something (clothes, papers, tools) I am actually staring at a series of delayed decisions. One delayed decision piled on top of another delayed decision piled on top of another delayed decision. . .
“A pile is a sign of a delayed decision.”
We delay a decision because it seems to be too hard to make at the time. But many times, a delayed decision only becomes harder to make as time goes on. And then we feel guilty about not making a decision.
Whenever I find myself staring at one of my own piles, I know I need to ask myself some questions. By doing this questioning process, I can usually get through the roadblock of indecision of what to do with an item in my home and watch a load of guilt fall off of my shoulders.
- Does it belong to me? If it doesn’t, I will need to ask the owner what they want to do with it. If it has been abandoned at my house, I can pitch it without guilt. My home doesn’t need to be a climate-controlled storage unit for other people’s stuff. Most likely, the owner forgot about the item and hasn’t even missed it.
- Was it a gift? The joy of gift-giving is in the excitement of the giving and the blessing of getting, placing the focus on the relationship and not on the gift. If I keep this gift I don’t need or really want, will it improve my relationship with the person who gave it with me?
- Is it a family heirloom? This is a tough one! I’m sure our ancestors would not want our homes to be burdened by the items they passed down to us. I usually try to repurpose a family heirloom or pass it along to another family member. If not, I have to decide if the item makes my life better or becomes a burden to me. I rather enjoy a few things with great memories rather than a whole house of old family stuff that I think might be of value someday.
- Did I spend a lot of money on this? I have to admit it is much harder to get rid of something I spent hard-earned cash on. I ask myself if it is earning it’s keep? Does it make my life better? Does it bring me joy? Has it earned the right to get to live in my house? Does it add beauty? Does it make more work for me as I try to maintain it?
- Will I need it someday? The answer is “probably”. Being a rather resourceful person, I really had to get over the idea that I could solve the world’s problems with my stash of old towels and half-used candles. Yes, I could probably use those items if push came to shove – but would I. The extra space I acquired by getting rid of them was much more enjoyable than knowing I had rags and candles for an imagined emergency.
What are your piles of indecision? Can you get through one pile this week by asking yourself some questions to get through the roadblock?
